Just Say "NO"-Vember
"No" thank you, "no", maybe next time,
"no" I really don't have time, "no" we have other plans,
“no”, family comes first, “no” I don't need one. If you start practicing saying
no in “no”-vember you will be well versed in it when December arrives and the
holidays have jumped upon you. By the time that you have devoured your holiday
bird and all of its leftovers you will be a pro at saying no.
I didn’t come up with this idea of “no” on my own. Shortly after
Thanksgiving last year, my 26 year-old son sent an email to family members
asking that they not give him any holiday gifts. He said “no” to wanting or
needing anything and did not see the purpose of everyone buying “stuff” just
for the sake of giving ”stuff”. He told everyone that if they had a hard
time not buying him something or not giving him money, that would they please
donate to one of several charities that he felt strongly about, or spend extra
time participating in a fun family activity together.
At first I was a bit upset at the idea of not getting to buy my
son a gift or gifts just because he didn’t want anything! The more I thought
about it, the more I warmed up to the idea. The more I discussed it with other
members of the family, including my daughter who I had already mailed gifts to,
the more everyone was on board with the idea. Hmmm….what a concept?
The result was amazing and so stress free, that it was hard to
describe the feeling as November rolled into December and I started in with my
holiday routine. Suddenly there was “ More Time for Life “ instead of the
dreaded shopping list. When I was out in the mall, I had the greatest feeling
from saying “no “ to shopping for gifts that I could thoroughly enjoy meeting
my friends for a holiday lunch or dinner instead, not to mention the financial
bonus. (In my head I was secretly bragging to myself “I’m all done with
my shopping because I never had to start!”) My aging parents were delighted
with the idea and very proud of their grandson. They had been telling us for
years that they too didn’t want or needed anything, but I guess we just didn’t
want to listen to them as we spent hours of frustration each year trying to
solve the “what can we get my parents” dilemma.
I unknowingly did give my parents their gift of choice last
year….A holiday meal in my home where they got excited about using my great aunt’s
silverware and admiring the extra tree in the family room decorated with
antique ornaments, recently passed down to me, and not out of their boxes since
I was a child. To top if off, my dad was delighted even more to share stories
with our last minute brunch guests when he found out that they grew up in the
same area of the Midwest as he did.
The point is that all of the good things of the holidays do not
need to revolve around presents and holiday party obligations. If you say “no”
to TV commercials for toys, moonlight sales at the mall, and people on your
Christmas card list that you haven’t seen or talked to in 10 years, it will
free up lots of time and money for you to enjoy the traditions that are your
favorites. If there are traditions that stress you out, or make you crazy, then
they are probably not worth doing just for tradition’s sake. Maybe it is time
to delete a few, edit a few, and insert a new one here and there.
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I recently asked my grown children what some of their best
holiday memories were and I wassurprised, yet not surprised at their
answers. The tradition of making a gingerbread house topped the list (new
pajamas came in second), and house decorating is still a tradition today, with
the only difference being that they don’t eat as much candy in the
process. One year we tried a glass blowing workshop together and that
topped the “best memories “ list for years! Other favorite and repeated holiday
traditions in our house include playing board games, assembling a jigsaw
puzzle, attending a museum exhibit, and discovering silly things in our
Christmas stockings. In other words, time together, which you can’t shop
for at a department store.
So if you want to get a jump on your holiday plans, here is a
list of “mind set reminders” to put at the top of all of your other lists.
1. Start new simpler traditions and give up some of the
old complicated ones.
2. Spend time and money on those you love and care about,
not on those you barely know or rarely see.
3. It is okay to re-gift
4. It’s about the spirit of the season, not the stuff
5. Don’t be afraid to “Just say No” to the “shoulds” of
December.
Laura Leist offers classes and suggestions for organization. I have used these books:
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household clutter in every room of your home.
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Maxine, I love this one! I "pinned" it to Pinterest, where people are forever repinning a post that said, "Have nothing in your life that isn't beautiful or useful." I especially love the story of how her aged parents were thrilled with holiday experiences that were the best gifts! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Maxine, for this timely post! I love the description of the wonderful Christmas experience she shared with her parents--not things, but time, shared experience, and lots of love. Thank you!
ReplyDelete