Monday, March 14, 2011


Family dynamics are interesting.

For the first time in three years we will have an opening at Adagio. We are interviewing prospective residents and their families. We learned the hard way that families spin the best picture of their vulnerable senior. Families do not tell you the difficulties until you agree to an assessment. Three months down the road you hear about syncope, the difficult daughter who fortunately rarely visits, the deceased husband’s gambling addiction, etc.

Every family and each organization has secrets. Secrets are stories describing stormy family dynamics crashing and foaming onto the shore. The flotsam left after calm returns may be cleaned up, but it still litters the family’s memories.

A church congregation rakes over the reasons the last two pastors were let go. But there are hurt witnesses who recognize the raw scraping in the sand, and the behavior pattern that led to the unpleasantness remains unexamined. It is a secret.

Attaching wheels to our baggage allows us false security that the secret will stay packed out of sight.

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