If the decision were easy it would not be called “crossing the Rubicon.” How long can Dad/Mom continue to live at home?
Mrs. Buck’s daughter, Claire promised she would never be moved out of her own home. Her friends have died or moved and when Claire brings meals, Mrs. Buck complains about being lonely.
When his wife passed, Mr. Bard’s daughter hired live-in help at the cost of $8,000 a month. He likes the arrangement because he can work in his garden and watch what he wants on TV. A reserved man, Mr. Bard has someone to talk to if he wishes.
Mr. Cline’s children lived several hours distant. Whenever they visited they saw more dents in Dad’s car. The Cline’s neighbor called the closest son several times. His wife frequently brought cooked food to the old man and she saw no evidence of meals other than used cereal bowls in the kitchen sink. One day the neighbor called a daughter. Her Father had been standing out in the yard for over two hours without moving. Did she want 911 called?
Susan has spoken with her Mother’s doctor about a care facility for Mom. Susan’s aunt speaks daily with her sister and tells Susan there is nothing wrong. Susan is wicked for trying to put Mom away.
Caesar did not cross the Rubicon alone. He waited and paced along the banks and questioned his advisors before he made his move.
There are many websites with information. To get started I recommend Alice Kalso's blog, Boomers Guide To Eldercare . The Archive is conveniently organized for subject of interest.
You are to be commended for asking questions and doing research on behalf of your senior.